today i slipped back into old habits. the thick fog had surrounded me and i was trying to run away, i was trying to pretend it wasn’t there. i slept, a lot. i scrolled through my phone mindlessly. i stared at the blank screen, my fingers hovering above the keyboard, writing, deleting, writing again.
i’ve been feeling, a lot! i’ve been overfeeling but i’m not exactly sure if i’ve been overthinking. my mind seems surprisingly emptied. i don’t think i’m thinking. i’m not sure why i feel so bad because i can’t figure out the thoughts that caused these negative feelings. ah oops, emotional reasoning :0 yet another cognitive distortion i’ve fallen for! (i feel __, so i must be __.)
maybe i am too obsessed with finding a “why” for anything and everything. i’m sad. i don’t know why. remember, there’s no point mulling over it for hours. it’s not going to make me magically understand the root of my sadness! life goes on.
i am overwhelmed, but it doesn’t prove anything. emotion is not fact. i am overwhelmed but that doesn’t prove the present circumstance is too much for me to handle. it is but an automatic feeling. in sec one miss j showed me a diagram of a brain, and she pointed to a strange knobbly part of it and said, “the amygdala, it triggers your fight-or-flight! yours is probably a little overreactive and that’s okay.”
that’s okay. this sadness/PAIN/unease/worry are only feelings. only feelings. they cannot actually hurt you, unless you let them.
unless you let them >:•(
a face in the crowd 