it is a rainy thursday evening. today i’ve experienced a flurry of emotions, good/verygood/bad/verybad…? but i am on my way home now, and i am feeling an incredible sense of calm. i am grateful for moments like these, when my mind is quiet, when i can engage in calm existential questioning without it descending into yet another 3am cry fest. i am so grateful… there really is much to think about today.
[about ki] it feels weird, to know that fate is no longer in My hands. now all i have to do is wait. it is scary and yet at the same time oddly relieving. i have written my emails, i have said what i wanted to say, and now all i can do is to pray about it. and wait.
[about hands] i am grateful for the gentle probing, for the friends who wait, patiently. i am grateful that they ask without pushing for an answer. i am grateful for boundaries.
[about slowing down] i’ve been trying to slow down, i think the speed contributes to the frenzy. i took my time in the morning today. i found time to pet mika, replenish her hay. maybe time isn’t really as limited as i used to think it was.
[about connection] i’m glad you can trust me, and i’m glad i can trust you. friendship isn’t calculative and transactional!!!we just help each other as much as we can and the “much as we can” bit varies for each individual. :0 i’m glad you’re here.
a face in the crowd 