. i am very scared right now. sometimes it feels like my life is dominated by Fear and Guilt. when i feel these feelings it is hard to feel anything else, i want to leave.
; but life will get better, it has to. there are moments of Happiness in every day, no matter how fleeting they may seem. this transient happiness and gratitude can tide me over and maybe i shall stay.
. this feeling… i’ve experienced it for days, months, years, and yet each time it’s different. it twists and morphs and shape-shifts into… something else. a black dog. an anchor. a hill. a valley. it’s always so familiar yet so foreign. maybe i’ll never learn.
; you will. things will get better with time. you are young and there is so much you don’t know. it is okay not to know. it is okay for something so familiar to feel so foreign. you’ll never truly understand the illness. no one will.
. is it worth it, putting up such a fight? i’ve been fighting for a long time, you know. i think i’m getting tired now. maybe i’m too fragile for this battle.
; you have done this again, and again, and you will do it yet again tomorrow. you will grit your teeth, and go. to. school.
a face in the crowd 