(one week into hbl…)
#1 today i realised that i absolutely hate afternoons, which is irrational. i am perpetually at my worst in the afternoon: unfocused, sluggish, sad.
maybe i am too future-orientated. i can’t seem to focus on the Present, it just feels too unnatural for me. i spend my mornings thinking about the rest of the day, and my nights thinking about tomorrow. the afternoon, the dreaded in-between, scares me. i’m bad at action. i think, but i don’t do. maybe this is my fatal flaw. i live my life in a frenzy, not focusing on what i should do Now, but what i can do Next.
but i really shouldn’t worry about reaching the end when my journey has barely begun. maybe i will try to live my life in hours and not days. let’s see how that works out tomorrow (in five hours’ time…)
#2 i rely heavily on routine, and it scares me how quickly things can change. the life i know now can be uprooted in an instant. just like that. every day i can’t help but notice Changes, no matter how minute they may be.
but the sun rises and sets, and rises and sets, every single day! i find that very, very comforting.
a face in the crowd 