i don’t have much to say today, but i shall write anyway because i don’t want stale (negative) thoughts floating around in my brain. i just skyped old friends a while ago and my heart is aching. there is so much that i miss. nostalgia is such a lovely but painful emotion.
the change is so unbearable that i feel like leaving, but i think i would leave if everything stayed the same too. it is a lose-lose situation; the black dog taints everything… and so these changes are painful yet necessary! not that i can prevent them from happening anyway.
there is nothing to do right now but wait. i am waiting for X results, for lessons to begin, i am waiting to get to know my classmates better. i am stuck in a dreadfully long queue and the waiting time is indefinite. hopefully one day i’ll feel at home here, but even if i don’t, i guess that’s okay.
i think i am lacking in patience, every school day feels as long and tiring as a 3d2n school camp. i hope i won’t crumble anytime soon. yesterday i had a not-so-good dream (ok, a Bad dream) about getting taken over by sick raeann. i know it’s just a dream but even writing about it now makes me feel very uneasy. one wrong step and things may spiral again. ahhh!!!! (but nevertheless i will try to trust in You)
one hill, one valley, one day at a time.
a face in the crowd 