my initial reaction was not exactly joy. it was surprise, it was shock. i’ve had labels stuck onto me since i was twelve; to hear someone suggest that i am In Remission from it all is very, very peculiar.
who am i without my labels? i can’t even begin to describe myself. i’m Raeann, i suppose, but there are millions of Raeanns out there. what makes me, me? for so long my labels were the only thing remotely interesting about me. i am raeann who was depressed, raeann who tried to die, raeann who got hospitalised. raeann who lost countless friends, countless opportunities, raeann who lost years of her youth. raeann who Struggled.
but i am also raeann who loves to sing and read and write and take long walks and watch the sunset and paint and eat good food and have novel experiences. raeann who intellectualises everything raeann who feels strongly and deeply raeann who loves, hard. raeann who is still struggling in some way but doing her best not to fall down the rabbit hole again. raeann who is often Trying Her Best (not always, and that’s okay).
i am starting to realise that i am as interesting and worth getting to know as everyone around me. that while i do not have specific traits that make me unique, my experience of the world combined with my personality, my strengths and weaknesses, my hopes and regrets, my likes and dislikes, make me one of a kind.
i have much to learn about myself :o)
a face in the crowd 